A Worried Life | Tomorrow Never Comes
Most of our happiness and sorrows depend on the external world.
If we win a lottery or if something happens according to our wishes, we become ecstatic.
On the other hand, sorrow and darkness start to surround us if something doesn’t go according to our plans or wishes.
I ask myself, is it the world that is miserable or my mind, or is it the world that is happy or myself.
If I am dependent on external sources for my happiness and sorrow, how can I be ever happy in this life?
I will always be concerned with the outcome rather than enjoying the process, I will always be thinking about my future rather than living the present, and I will always think about tomorrow, which never comes.
Why I should start living tomorrow where I will finally learn how to play the guitar, or crack my entrance exams, or get that promotion or become wealthy when I already have today to live.
Why I should care about the uncertain tomorrow that nobody knows how it will happen, rather, I already have today, this moment, and I know how it is happening.
This article is about how to live a stress-free life and achieve success on your own.
The Force
The earth is 13.8 billion years old.
Before you were born, the universe was operating independently, and after your death, the universe will keep operating.
The universe has its own way of organizing things, the orderly planets and their orbits, the balance between life and death, the balance between different life forms, etc.
This force, or the energy that balances everything, is known as the being, god, almighty, above all, the one, the supreme light, etc.
You can name it whatever you like, and it also doesn’t matter if you believe in the force or not.
Your belief doesn’t change the fact that reality is unfolding every day on its own, and no matter how hard you try, the flow of reality will unfold every moment.
If you have lived your whole life without letting the reality flow on its own, then why don’t you, from today, let the reality flow on its own and accept whatever it throws on you.
You don’t have to think about tomorrow; you don’t have to worry about your bills payment; you don’t have to struggle for something your mind desires.
But hey, if I don’t worry about my bills, how am I supposed to pay the bills?
Worrying to pay the bills will not pay your bills, but working at this moment will.
The reality is the present moment.
The present is the only truth we have, not tomorrow, nor yesterday.
Leave the tomorrow to that force, and deal only with ‘now’.
Now you can do whatever you like; now you can start running, now you can start eating, now you can save money for your college education, now you can work on your unfinished project.
Only this ‘now’ matters because everything else is just an illusion of our mind.
You have always tried to control the situation, you have always tried to control the reality, but what if you let the reality flow on its own and you accept it without any resistance.
This is something you have to try on your own because controlling the external environment has brought you here in this moment of your life now; let the reality unfold on its own, and you do what you feel like doing from now on.
This will be an experiment of a lifetime.
Our resistance and Intuition
Let me give you a personal example.
My core value is productivity.
If I live against my core values, I become unhappy.
I also like playing online competitive video games a lot.
Video games are fun, and nobody in this world hates having fun. Right?
But, video games were consuming a lot of time and energy in my life, which could have been used for my productive work.
So, every time I played games, I felt like I was wasting time.
One day, after playing games for long hours, I decided to quit video games and take life seriously from the next day.
But, our mind doesn’t work the way we think.
I, of course, played video games the next day.
This process created deep emotions within me like self-loathing, hatred, cursing myself for being so weak, etc.
The more I played and wasted my time, the stronger I exercised my will to quit video games forever.
The stronger I exercised my will, the more I played sooner or later.
The interesting fact was this; if I could quit games for a few days, there was a kind of unhappiness I felt inside myself.
In my eyes, I was an addict, and there were times when I thought there was no way of coming out of this.
If I cannot control my mind, and if I cannot control my outcome, how I am supposed to achieve my dreams after all.
But, when my perception changed, things started to change on their own.
I let go of the reality, and I just followed my intuition.
I started trusting the force and stopped blaming and feel guilty about my action.
I started doing only what made me happy.
If video games make me happy, I will play them without remorse and enjoy them every second.
The interesting thing was, the moment I stopped resisting, video games slowly became much boring than the speech of teacher conference meeting.
I started finding my work much more interesting than before, and if sometimes I don’t feel like working, despite my plans, I let it go and do something else, whatever I feel like doing.
Why do you need to struggle for something if you don’t feel like doing it in the first place?
Let it go, let it flow; you don’t need to feel guilty or shame for not being able to do something.
After all, negative emotions are negative energy that keeps us from reaching our goals.
Other Recommended Articles
How to deal with negative emotions?
Negative emotions like worry, fear, jealousy, anger, etc., do more damage to our life than benefits.
People suggest that you don’t get worried or control your anger, but these things are easier said than done.
We always try to control our fear or worry, or anger.
The more we try to control it, the more it seems to get out of our hands, and we do things that we regret later.
When you feel any negative emotion, observe it purely without changing it. You don’t need to put a level like anger or jealously; just observe the emotion with your undivided attention.
You will discover, the emotion starts dissolving on its own within a few minutes, and some other emotion takes its place.
Perhaps, the other emotion is also another kind of negative emotion; observe that too.
Controlling our emotions is like controlling the external world.
The more you try to control the external world, the more chaos you will invite into your life.
Let the external world unfold on its own, and you let your emotions flow on their own.
You don’t need to suppress, control, or deny them; you just need to observe them without judgment.
If the emotion is there, then it is there; that’s the truth.
We also need to remember that emotions are not our identity, and thoughts are not our identity either.
You can always watch these emotions and thoughts from a distance as a third person.
Work without expecting results
This may be the most powerful concept one should understand to be happy and successful in life.
Since childhood, we were taught that we should focus on getting good grades.
Everything we do, we do it for our desired outcome.
But, what if you just work without expecting results.
You work on something without expecting a result because the work itself is rewarding.
In one of his interviews, Stephen King, the king of horror, mentioned that the writing is fun for him; once a book is completed and has to go out to the public, it’s not fun anymore.
But, most of the ‘want to be writers’ focus on the finished products.
They imagine that their book will be the best seller for months, signing publishing contracts, having interviews on tv and radio, becoming successful, and writing more.
They do it because this is what they learned from their parents, teachers, friends, books, and motivational videos.
Have a burning desire; this is what everyone says.
Without burning desire, you cannot have what you want.
But wait, why do I need the burning desire to write?
Why do I need the burning desire to love something or someone?
It’s like saying, if you want the girl you truly love, you need burning desire first to have her.
But, if you truly love her, you will never force yourself or her to have her in your life.
You will move with the flow and let the reality unfold on its own.
You will just enjoy spending time with her, talking with her, care for her, etc.
You will do all these, not because you expect something from her, but it just felt right for you.
Your passion is like true love.
If you love something to do, you just do it just for the sake of doing it.
There is no hidden secret.
If there is nothing you love to do, accept it and let go of the flow.
You don’t need to force yourself to love something because you cannot love something by force.
It happens on its own.
When you accept it and go with your life, soon you will find your passion.
Once you find what you love doing, you cannot even stop yourself from becoming successful.
Attachment with goals
I understand what you are saying. But does that mean we should not have goals, do not plan our day or our life?
I mean, if I don’t plan the day and just follow what comes to my mind, I will waste the whole day.
Let’s continue the writing example.
A person who loves writing books may have the goal of publishing.
But here, you need to understand the difference.
The person who writes the book is more concerned with the process than the outcome.
In simple words, he is not attached to the outcome or the goal.
We need goals in our life.
They give us direction and keep things organized.
But, attaching yourself to a goal is nothing but a desire.
Where there is desire, there is suffering and pain.
We are unable to accept reality because our burning desire seems to shatter in the real world.
This creates negative emotions within us and stops us from progressing any further.
I mean, how will you write in the present moment when your mind is in the future worrying or daydreaming about publishing.
Again, planning your day is important too.
But, attaching yourself to a plan or a fixed routine is nothing but a desire.
If the day doesn’t go according to our plan, we become unhappy about it.
This unhappiness or negative emotion will undoubtedly affect the rest of the day unless there is a piece of good news.
This means, our happiness and unhappiness depend on external factors.
Of course, every day cannot go according to our plan, which means most of the days we will be unhappy for the rest of our lives.
But, once we detach ourselves from the plans or goals, we accept what reality throws at us and go along with it.
This is your path to happiness and success.
This is freedom.
Living in the moment
You have only moments to live.
You have only this moment to live, and no matter where your mind is now, you are still here, reading this article.
But, most of us don’t live in the moments; we either live in the future where we are doing beautiful things or in the past where we lost so much.
This is why when we get old, we say, “I never understand where my life went by; it seemed like yesterday when I was a kid, playing in the backyard and making paper boats.”
Once you start living in the moments, you will find true joy.
You will find beauty in everything, regardless of the things you found dull before.
The songs will become even more beautiful, the sip of coffee will taste better, cooking will be fun, doing house chores will not drain your energy, and after doing everything, you will still have unlimited energy to work on your goals.
But, how to live in the moment?
By developing consciousness.
If you think we are all conscious, then that will be a mistake.
Everyday, we do things without making any conscious decision.
Every day we experience emotions and act on those emotions without awareness.
Every day we are either in the past or in the future.
Once you distance yourself from your thoughts and emotions, you start developing consciousness.
Once you recognize a particular thought you are having, you are conscious.
Once you recognize a particular emotion, you are conscious.
If you are thinking that all this writing doesn’t make any sense, what this article is trying to say, then recognizing this thought is consciousness.
This is what mindfulness meditation is, to become mindful of your action, thoughts, and emotions.
The present moment is continuous; it is always moving.
There is no thinking; there is only doing.
This is why we focus on our breath in mediation.
Our breath is always continuous.
Though this is a skill, and it will develop over time.
Consciousness is something we cannot understand by reading an article or a book.
You have to experience it on your own to understand it.
Conclusion
If you want to take anything from this article, stop resisting the force and let it flow without shame and guilt.
Follow your intuition and do wherever make you happy.
Even if it is unproductive and a waste of time, do it until you get bored.
Suppressing something you want to do will cause unhappiness and disrupt the flow of your life.
Again, if you have a goal, follow it without any attachment.
You do something not only because you want to reach somewhere, a future destination, but because you enjoy doing it.
If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it.
Accept it and wait until you feel like doing it.
Sooner than you think, you will start to enjoy doing it.
Best
Ahbab
