10 Rules to become successful in Life
How to be successful in life, a cliche title.
Success can have different meanings for everyone. For some, acquiring vast wealth can be a success.
For others, having good relationships with spouses, parents, children can be a success.
Again for some, achieving life goals like writing a novel, publishing songs, winning gold medals, getting that dream job, etc., can be a success.
But, whatever your definition of success is, you have to admit that the fundamental of all our versions of success is happiness.
We are all running after happiness.
But there are rules to become happy in life.
Once we stop following these rules, our life becomes a painful experience, a bad memory.
Most of us don’t know what the rules are, and therefore they keep getting confused with their way of living.
Moreover, they live with the wrong rules for most of their lives.
These wrong rules are so widespread in our society that we never question them and follow them blindly because everyone is following them.
These 10 rules mentioned here are more like principles that guide you to live a good life, a happy life so that you never regret it at the end of your journey.
1. Action, before emotions.
One of the major wrong rules that we live by to become successful in life is that we wait for motivation or some good emotion to do our work.
Before starting a project or continuing a project, we need to feel good or motivated to even begin with.
Because it is shown in movies or written in stories that once a person has a burning desire to have what he wants, he can achieve anything in life.
But, you cannot have good emotions every single day.
If you live by this rule, you will often say before starting your work that you don’t feel like working today; you are not in a mood, you feel like playing games instead of working, life is boring, etc.
Moreover, if there is a piece of bad news before you start your work, it is more likely you will slump in the corner of your room and curse God that you are unlucky and God doesn’t love you.
This is because you live according to your emotions.
You only do things that your emotions tell you to do.
Of course, on good days, when you feel bright and hopeful, you work beyond your limits, and life seems beautiful and happy.
But, this never continues for long as your ‘feeling good emotions’ or motivation doesn’t show up everyday.
The secret is, good emotion comes after you take action.
Once you do your duty, despite not feeling like doing it, you stir your emotions, and in the process, you start liking it.
Therefore the first rule is, if it is the right thing to do, then do it despite the emotions you have.
If it is not the right thing to do, don’t do it.
2. Basic and priority
But, how to do the right thing?
I don’t have that kind of willpower.
Without motivation, I cannot do the right thing at the right time everyday.
You don’t need motivation or willpower to do the right thing at the right time; instead, you need a solid character.
Once this principle of doing the right thing at the right time is ingrained in your mind, you will never need motivation or willpower to do it.
You will just do it.
But how to build that solid character?
The problem that occurs when we focus on doing the right thing is that we only focus on our priorities.
We only try to do the things that matter the most because it seems logical.
We will try to work on our projects, pursue our dreams, focus on our health and wealth, but sooner or later; we stop doing it.
Because the basics were untouched.
We don’t make the bed in the morning; we don’t keep our clothes in the proper place in the proper ways; we don’t wash the dishes or clean the room because these things matter less.
If you work on your priorities and neglect your basics, it will be like you have two characters simultaneously, which is not possible.
Your actions originate from your character.
If you have a character who does the right thing at the right time, you will give equal importance to your basics and priority.
You cannot work on your unfinished novel until you wash the clothes that have been piling in the chair for four days.
You cannot win the Olympic gold medal until you go to sleep on time.
Therefore the second rule is, give equal importance to your basics and priorities.
3. Worry and Stress
If you are worried about your future and stressed about the outcomes of your actions, congratulation, you are a normal human being.
Our mind tends to predict the worst; that’s how we have hardwired our brains since ancient times.
It was crucial for survival in those times, but now it’s becoming a hindrance to living a good life.
We tend to worry more about tomorrow and forget that we still have today to live.
We become so stressed about the outcome of our actions that it seems impossible to focus on the present.
This happens when we don’t want certain futures to happen and when things don’t go according to our likings.
Perhaps, you don’t want to lose that special person to you, or perhaps, you want to crack your entrance exams, but you are worried that you may fail.
The truth about our universe is that it is billions of years old.
It was there before you were born, and it will be there after your death.
The universe has its way of unfolding reality.
The unfolding of reality may be ugly or beautiful, but whatever it is, you cannot change it once it is revealed.
That’s is not in your control.
The only thing that you can control is taking action in the present.
Of course, it is needless to say that your action will affect your desired outcome.
Therefore, your only duty is to work without expecting the outcome.
Whatever the outcome is, accept it with your full heart.
This is where the concept of acceptance comes in.
Therefore, the third rule is accepting reality because complaining about the outcome will bring nothing but distress, worry, and stress.
4. Living in the moment
Whatever is happening to you is happening right now.
It is not happening in the past or the future.
We are so obsessed with our past and futures that we tend to forget to live in the moments.
But, we only have this moment that is true; everything else is a projection of our mind.
Suppose you are going back to your home after a long day in the office by driving your car.
You are thinking about what you will eat once you go home, or if you get that promotion, or you need to sleep early because tomorrow you have to wake up early.
Your mind is already in the future; in the present, you are driving, but we rarely pay any attention to it.
Your mind is so focused on the future and past that you suddenly notice you are sixty years old, and you don’t even remember where your life went by.
Once you are in the moment, you can feel the reality, the truth of your existence, and realize that now you can do anything you want.
You can take any decision you like.
You don’t have to wait for anything; you don’t need to stand in a line because you are already here.
This rule changes mindset, which will take longer to understand because we have always focused on securing our future since childhood.
The future and past are so ingrained in our minds that we don’t even understand the present anymore.
This mindset allows you to focus on the process, not the result.
Once you enjoy the process, there will be results beyond your imagination.
Therefore, the fourth rule is, living in the moment.
The problem is not the problem itself; how we view it is the real problem.
Let me explain this with an example.
Suppose you wake up early today and decide to go for a morning jog.
You are in a good mood because the day started as you planned, and everything seems good until you step on that dog poo.
Now, you have two ways to judge that event.
Either you curse yourself for not being careful, and every bad thing happens to you, or nothing goes according to your plan, God doesn’t love you, life is a struggle, etc., or you can smile at that stupid event and continue running.
Problems or obstacles are the main ingredients for the growth of an individual.
Cursing your luck or the event will lead you nowhere, and it will not help to solve that problem either.
Once you take that problem as a challenge and keep moving forward despite the hurdles, you start to grow.
Your personality changes, your mindset changes, and you start to believe in yourself because the obstacle is the way to succeed in life.
There are very few people who achieved success without going through pain.
Therefore, if you encounter life events that are not according to your likes and wishes, keep finding solutions and face the problems with zeal and passion.
Perhaps, the problem is a blessing in disguise.
The fifth rule is our perception of external events.
In rule number 1, we have mentioned that we should perform our duty despite our emotions or mood because motivation or good feelings don’t show up every day.
But, it isn’t easy to work if we don’t feel like working in the first place.
This is where self-awareness helps.
Your mind constantly tells you to do things that you are unaware of.
Research shows that 60% of our daily decisions are unconscious.
Perhaps you wanted to finish your work today, but at the end of the day, you found yourself playing games, procrastinating for no reason, or watching the new episodes of your favorite TV series that you have been waiting for so long.
Only at the end of your day, you regret your choices.
Only at the end of your life, you regret how you spent your limited time.
Once we are aware of our choices, we can choose better.
We don’t need to play video games because working on the project is more meaningful and fitting.
Of course, we will feel discomfort for not living according to our subconscious mind.
Our subconscious mind is not our enemy; it only prefers to do what we do everyday and brings pleasure to our daily lives.
Once we stop those unconscious decisions and take actions that matter, we are out of our comfort zone.
That’s a good thing.
The more you are out of your comfort zone, your zone of excellence will expand.
Soon, you will have a new comfort zone, where you do the right thing at the right time.
Pay attention to what your mind tells you to do or what you feel like doing.
If it is the right thing to do, then do it. If it’s not, skip it.
If you skip, you will undoubtedly feel discomfort for a short period.
The sixth rule to become successful is self-awareness of our emotions, actions, and thoughts.
No one is coming to rescue you.
That’s the truth.
If you are waiting for someone, who can make your life better, you will probably wait forever.
We have come to this planet alone, and we will leave alone.
It is your responsibility to make your life better, prosper, and keep moving forward.
Life will keep testing you, put hindrance one after another, and your job is to keep moving despite the hurdles.
It is your responsibility to make the bed in the morning, make your coffee, or write that novel.
It is your responsibility to earn money or pay your bills.
It is your responsibility to go to the gym on time and have a healthy diet.
No one is going to do it for you.
But, we already know this, and still, most of the time, we don’t feel like moving.
This is because of our character.
Our actions shape our character.
If someone is responsible for his action, you will not see him delaying things or procrastinating most of the time.
To build your character, take actions first, don’t wait for motivation or emotions; it will come along the way.
The more you repeat this process, the more responsible you will become in all the areas of your life.
Therefore, the seventh rule to become successful in life is self-responsibility.
8. Shame and Guilt.
We feel shame and guilt when we fail to live according to our or others’ expectations.
If we fail to achieve our goals or fail to produce our desired results, we feel ashamed of ourselves.
Shame and guilt are nothing but a leakage to your inner energy.
The more you feel guilty, or shame, the more inner energy you will lose.
Your self-confidence, your self-respect, or self-esteem will go down over time.
Shame and guilt happen when we value the result more than the efforts.
If you have given your 100% and still you couldn’t achieve your goals, you can be sad, but you will not feel guilt or shame because you value the effort.
It’s okay to fail.
It’s okay to fail 100 times.
Leave the end result to reality, focus on the process everyday.
Once you understand that there is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty about because every person on this earth makes mistakes, you will start enjoying the process again.
If you are making mistakes repeatedly, then there is something wrong with the way of your work, not within you.
You just need to analyze your ways, find mistakes, and rectify them.
It is that simple.
Never feel guilty about your actions, the mistakes you made until now, or the mistake you will make in the future.
Of course, you will make a hell of a lot of mistakes, but the good thing about making mistakes is they show what we need to work on.
It is an opportunity to improve ourselves.
Therefore, the eighth rule of success is not to feel shame or guilt despite making mistakes in life.
9. Realization and Practice
Most of us blame luck or others for not being able to achieve things that we desire the most.
If you want to improve your skill in a particular field, or if you wish to excel in your desired area, then it is true that you need to practice a lot.
But, it is not as easy as it sounds.
Despite practicing everyday some don’t progress much.
The practice itself is not the problem.
The problem is the game that our brain plays with us.
For example, you want to develop trading skills in stocks.
Therefore, you read books, take personal coaching, watch all the required videos to improve your skills in trading analysis.
After all these, you do a lot of practical sessions, and after 2-3 years of continuous effort, your results are still not great.
You still lose a lot of money in trading.
Therefore, most of us from here will blame luck like, “I am not that lucky. I worked so hard but, still, I am not profitable.”
Some will try more and keep learning, but still, they cannot achieve the desired result they want.
Most will quit by this time, and few will continue, but only a few will be successful in their effort.
Is it because those who became successful have better skills, IQ, or better luck?
The answer is NO.
Those who became successful have a unique quality that most don’t have.
No matter how many times they fail, they don’t blame others or luck; instead, they try to find the mistakes they made while trading.
They don’t become sad because they lose; they become happy because they found an opportunity to improve themselves.
It is like finding bugs in a computer program and fixing them one after another until the program runs smoothly.
We still blame external circumstances when reality gets tough despite knowing this fact.
There is no luck, and if there is, then luck is also a skill.
There is only ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’
If you cannot do something despite trying hard, it only means you are doing something wrong.
Find that wrong, practice it over and over again.
This will be a long process, and it may take several years to find all the bugs, but once you have this mindset, your journey will become fun.
Therefore, the ninth rule of success is realizing your mistakes and rectifying them repeatedly.
10. Comfort zone
The last but one of the most important rules of success is staying out of your comfort zone.
What is your comfort zone?
Your comfort zone may be depending on your parents for daily survival or working on that job for the last ten years that you despise everyday, or putting the dishes on the basin for days because you don’t feel like washing.
Perhaps, your comfort zone is skipping leg days in the gym or eating pizza whenever you are on a weight loss diet.
If you are not feeling discomfort while performing an action, it only means you are in your comfort zone.
Depending on people, the size and shape of their comfort zone will differ.
If you decide to do the right thing at the right time, like quitting a bad habit or starting a project, you will feel discomfort, fear, anxiety, or whatever else you want to name it.
This is natural.
Therefore, feeling nervous, anxious, or fearful is good, and there is nothing to be ashamed about.
Everyone fears, even the top performers.
The only difference is that their attitude towards their fear.
They deliberately push themselves beyond their zone and go through their discomfort because they know, living life in the comfort zone is not a thrilling or good life.
If they want to do something, they need to go out of their comfort zone.
Try doing the right things everyday, even the minor activities, and you will feel discomfort initially.
Soon, your comfort zone will expand, and you will become comfortable with most of the activities that you didn’t find interesting or comfortable before.
Therefore, the last rule of success is living outside your comfort zone or at least living at the edge of your comfort zone.
Don’t be at the center, where life is too comfortable, too pleasurable, with no progress and significant action.
The rule of success can be anything as long as you are living consciously.
The problem occurs when we start to live unconsciously.
Unconscious living is living according to our bad habits, urges, and emotions.
If you have strong emotion for something, that doesn’t mean it is right to do.
You already know what is the right thing to do everyday, every second of your life, but it is too difficult to do it.
When your emotions are positive, you can do the right thing easily, but you stop or fall back to your older self when the going gets tough.
If you genuinely want to be successful and happy in your life, don’t wait for positive emotions to do the right thing.
Just do it, despite the mood you are having.